Radio Show Prep From Gagwriter.co.uk

 
 





 

Welcome to Gagwriter.co.uk a topical comedy service from Steve Boyle writing. The service is frequently updated. Once you register for the service you will have access to the latest material in the members area. To give you a chance to see if you can intergrate our service in to your show, we are offering a one month free trial. Check out the FAQ's and Register today. 

Some archive examples are posted below.


Thousands of Britons say they would like Robbie Williams' song Angels played at their funeral. The track came out number one in a poll of  over  45,000 adults across Europe by digital TV Music channel .

I don't know about you but I'm sick to death of it.


German researchers have apparently discover why Germans love Cabbage so much. Apparently its all down to their Genes. Apparently people who have the  taste Gene  hTAS2R38 are very sensitive to certain chemicals in cabbage. It has been found that most of the German population carry this Gene.

So kids next time your mother gets on to you for not eating your greens you have the perfect reply " Well you made me like this"  


A Mexican Man has stunned doctors by carrying out a complex chest drain operation on himself. The man inserted a needle via his belly button and drained off nearly three litres of fluid. A doctor said "he did it as if he was a trained surgeon"

With the way the health service is at the moment I can see a new slogan on the Horizon " do try this at home"


A guy from Cambridgeshire is selling a scud missile complete with launcher truck on eBay. The add states "it's the biggest SUV in the world and makes a Humvee look like a Dinky toy"

A spokesman for number Ten said the Prime Minister was concerned about the mater and had asked the security services to take a look. But unfortunately they couldn't find it.




Amateur Pole dancing is all the rage in London. One participant said "It's a way for people to put the spice back into their marriages," she added. "Unlike an aerobics class, this is something you can take back and share with your man."
Pole dancing appeals to women from all walks of life one of the participants is a 42 year married banker another is an accountant in the city.

So that's what they mean by asset striping.


One in three new dads in Britain admit to trying their partner's breast milk. The survey was carried out for a baby milk company and they say the results explode the myth that fathers feel excluded when their partner breastfeeds a new baby.
Not only did 74% of all men say they felt included, but a third admitted to trying their partner's breast milk.

One of the men interviewed said "It's like a lot of things in life, you don't' know how it'll turn out. I guess you've just got to suck it and see"


According a new survey the average British male has sex twice a week and each session lasts for three minutes and one second.

Handy information that. I can hear it now across the kitchens of the land "Darling  I need you in the kitchen. The egg timers broke again".



A German church has taken to selling Christian ring tones to fund the restoration of its organ.
St Petri church in Hamburg has set up its own website  to sell the ring tones.
For the equivalent of about 1.40p, worshippers can download one of five hymn tunes.
Church musician Thomas Dahl says he is confident the church will succeed

"We offer melodies that have been popular for centuries," he said.
 

So does Cliff  Richard mate but it doesn't mean I want him as my ring tone.


Scientists at MIT have invented an alarm clock called Clocky to make even the doziest sleepers, who repeatedly hit the snooze button, leap out of bed.
After the snooze button is pressed, the clock, which is equipped with a set of wheels, rolls off the table to another part of the room.
The idea is that when the alarm goes off again you will have to get out of bed to switch it off.

Well at least if it doesn't work properly you'll really be able to tell the boss "my alarm clock didn't go off"



Extreme accounting is the latest  adrenaline sport. Accountants visit challenging locations like mountain tops, sea beds, caves and roller coasters. And do the business there. The Chartered Institute of Management Accounting said: "It's a phenomenon that pushes accountants to their limits - and beyond."

Apparently they tend to do it together as there's safety in numbers.

When asked if he was worried about the danger one accountant said " not really mate when your numbers up your numbers up"

Extreme accounting  Isn't that what Enron and World Com got done for!


Its the anniversary this week of the Tolpuddel martyrs. In 1834 a group of six farm workers got together to form the first trade union. The men were all sentenced to transportation

The following is an extract from evidence given at their trial...... "One of the men asked if we were ready. We said, yes. One of them said, 'Then bind your eyes,' and we took out handkerchiefs and bound over our eyes. Someone then read a paper, but I don't know what the meaning of it was."

No much has changed at the different TUC conference then!

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